Sheizen! We're Going to a Wedding!

A wedding! First we've been to since back in the day. Back in the day meaning a time when I was "up the duff" and therefore very acceptably fat. Now, I can't really get away with "I've just had a baby" as I "Just had a baby" last October. Now, alas, I am just fat. I look more like "I just consumed several babies" than having one left my personage 7 months ago. I have ordered some of Mr. J. Lewis' Large Pants which will magically shrink my personage to it's prior size 8 glory. While my bingo wings remain at albatross proportions. And just as white, unless I remember my industrial vat of St Tropez from Boots tomorrow. I'll be a tiny-bodied, mango-rippled albatross. With bloody lovely shoes. Which my orange striped trotters will have to be wedged into and my little piggie toe will spend its entire day trying to escape out the side, between 2 straps. And I will have plasters in my clutch, and there will be much rejoicing! I LOVE weddings.